Yes-man / No-man
‘No’… it’s such a simple sound to make and yet often so hard to say. Those who have difficulty making this simple sound are the yes-men of the planet. Saying ‘no’, they fear, may make someone not like them. If they say ‘no’ they may be perceived as unkind or mean. Due to this fear, a yes-man will often put other’s needs before their own. Generosity and kindness, they feel, is more important than their own wellbeing.
To the yes-men… You are the most important person in this world. Your first responsibility is to take care of your highest self. Not even your children are more important than your own health and happiness. Your children will not thrive if you do not take care of yourself. If you live a happy, abundant life, then so too will your children. Your tendency towards kindness and positivity is a beautiful service to the planet.
However, if you wear yourself out in service to others, what good will you be? It is a long and wondrous walk towards change, not an exhausting sprint. Slow down and take more time for your highest self. Practice saying ‘no’ to other’s needs and ‘yes’ to your own, even if some feelings get hurt along the way. Those feelings are someone else’s story, not yours. When you are vibrating at your highest, you can start supporting others, but without sacrificing your own well being.
There are others that are very good at saying ‘no’. These people are, of course, the no-men. While they prioritize themselves first and rarely self-sacrifice for a bigger cause, they also miss opportunities that would have served themselves and others. The no-men of the world tend to squash creativity and change.
To the no-men… You may think of yourself as a realist, but we all create our own reality. The more you say ‘no’ to dreams of change, the less the world will change. Slow down. Take a breath. Why ‘no’? Challenge yourself to find a creative solution to turn your answer into a ‘yes’. The key to the gates of heaven are yours, show us the way and we will follow.
So which are you, a yes-man or no-man?
To the yes-men… I ask you to share a story of when a difficult to say ‘no’ was really the right answer. Or times when you said ‘yes’ and later realized your error. Please try to put into words why it is so difficult to say ‘no’ to a friend. Maybe upon reading this you’ll practice some ‘no’s. Tell us how it goes.
And for the no-men… do you have any regrets that stem from a ‘no’ used too quickly? What would happen if you paused before your ‘no’ and use your creativity to make it a ‘yes’? Try it out and tell us what happens.
Ultimately, the right answer is balance. If you sense a pattern in your life, if you sense that the ‘no’s come easier than the ‘yes’s, see if you can make a change. It might take some practice, but their may be a dream waiting to find you if you can just find the right answer.
While traveling abroad during university, Coby met a Peruvian healer who liberated him from the material realm. "Now that you have entered the spiritual world," she told him, "You'll never have to concern yourself with money or materials, they will manifest effortlessly. Your new path is a spiritual one wrought with its own challenges."
Coby took this belief to heart, starting a spiritual journey that took him several times around the globe. He spent many years in Latin America reconnecting with the Earth, a connection often severed in modern suburbia.
He sailed the Caribbean, learning just how deeply one can relax. He led groups of teenagers through dozens of countries and across five different continents. He spent much time in India where he lived 'Baba Life', renouncing material comforts and exploring the boundaries of meditation.
But between each chapter of his story, he would always return to his Shamanic teacher in Peru for study and guidance. Coby’s deep rooted interest in Shamanism found its perfect complement when he married Yogini, CJ Ananda. Their combined passion is to find harmony in the combination of these two ancient healing traditions.