Where Da Boyz At?

 coby hadas blog post

Fifteen years ago I left the comforts of the US to explore our beautiful planet. For much of my time abroad I have been living in spiritual communities of one sort or another. During this time, something has become apparent that brings me concern… within these communities there is a sore lacking of men. And not by a small margin either. I don’t have any precise numbers, but I’d guess that the circles I walk in are roughly 80% female.

Being a man, this has been nothing less than a delight in which to revel. For many years I knew this situation to be true, yet merely enjoyed the benefits it brought me.Surrounded by beautiful women is a good way to travel through life. But now that I have found my goddess, the beautiful women with whom I continue to be surround have become my sisters and daughters. And, like any loving brother/father would feel, I am concerned. I am concerned that my girls won’t find the men of their dreams. I am concerned that this situation is more widely spread and there may be a whole generation of spiritually evolved women who won’t be able to find their spiritual counterweight. So, to quote my favorite OMG Girlz song, I am on a quest to find…“where da boyz at”?

I know there is an abundance of beautiful men in this world, but they don’t often seem to be walking a spiritual path. I am friends with dozens of gorgeous goddesses that, in a sane world, would attract men like bees to honey. But due to the gross imbalance, my friends are left single and wanting.
Fifteen years ago I attended my first yoga class and found that I was the only man in a room full of beautiful women. It won’t surprise you to learn that I picked up yoga as a hobby. I practiced regularly for many years and eventually married my favorite yoga teacher, at which point I revealed to her that I don’t really like yoga… I prefer watching football. It was quite a shock to her, but I had already tricked her into falling in love with me and she accepted me for who I am. God I love yogis. I, of course, say this with some degree of jest, for I truly do love yoga and I love my meditation practice… but I also love football. And while I was savvy enough to realize these disproportionate numbers in yoga classes, not many other men have caught on. Yoga Journal reported in 2012 that 83% of the yoga community is female. Where da boyz at?!

Now, I’m not suggesting that men should take yoga just to meet women. Yoga has taught me many beautiful lessons, physical, emotional, and spiritual. In fact yoga class is not at all the place to pick up on women… nobody wants to be hit on while in their post yoga bliss. But once a man has started practicing yoga, started attending spiritual retreats, started attending meditation workshops, they will become the man that is attractive to the beautiful women by which they are surrounded.


My wife and I have been leading shamanic and yoga retreats for several years. In our last 11 retreats and trainings we’ve had 140 students and 10 of them were men! In an effort to attract more men to spirituality, I designed a retreat that, I thought, would appeal to men. I didn’t want it to be a “men’s retreat”, since I’ve never resonated with the idea of exclusivity. But I thought I could design a retreat that would naturally attract men. I titled the retreat “Sacred Warrior Mountain Retreat” and the first one is next summer in Peru. The retreat begins at a beautiful retreat center nestled in the Andes mountains. We start by learning some survival skills like starting fire from nothing and building shelters from the earth. We then hike into the mountains for four days and survive with little more than a sleeping bag. So far we have four signups… all women… Where da boyz at?!

I decided to contact my shamanic teacher in Peru about this topic. I’ve been working with her for 15 years and her intuitive abilities and sharp wit never seize to amaze me. So, I explained to her the situation and asked, “where da boyz at”? Without pause she answered in such a way that left no doubt that her answer was the truth. “Where da boyz at you want to know,” she said, “that’s easy… they’re on the beach in Brazil.”

I broach this question for two reasons. First, if you are a beautiful man reading this, please take a yoga class, sign up for a meditation retreat, get off your bum, get out of the boring norm of material lust, and find the power of Spirit. I promise you, there is a garden of eden with the most beautiful women waiting for your arrival. Secondly, I’d like to know what you think. I don’t have the answer to this question of “where da boyz at” and I’d like to know. Why aren’t more men attracted to Spirit? What can we do to attract more men to spiritual paths? Do you also see a disparity of gender in your spiritual communities?


 coby hadas kula collective

While traveling abroad during university, Coby met a Peruvian healer who liberated him from the material realm. "Now that you have entered the spiritual world," she told him, "You'll never have to concern yourself with money or materials, they will manifest effortlessly. Your new path is a spiritual one wrought with its own challenges." 

Coby took this belief to heart, starting a spiritual journey that took him several times around the globe. He spent many years in Latin America reconnecting with the Earth, a connection often severed in modern suburbia.

He sailed the Caribbean, learning just how deeply one can relax. He led groups of teenagers through dozens of countries and across five different continents. He spent much time in India where he lived 'Baba Life', renouncing material comforts and exploring the boundaries of meditation.

But between each chapter of his story, he would always return to his Shamanic teacher in Peru for study and guidance. Coby’s deep rooted interest in Shamanism found its perfect complement when he married Yogini, CJ Ananda. Their combined passion is to find harmony in the combination of these two ancient healing traditions.